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Tenant Of 17 Years Gets Evicted, Leaves Behind A Lovely Surprise (Video)

HOLLYWOOD, FL — Tenants are like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re gonna get.

Apparently, Amanda Lab, a Realtor with Re/Max Advisors, got the world’s biggest Bud Light fan during what was supposed to be a routine eviction.

Above is footage taken after the tenant’s attempted “clean up”.

“What’s really funny is that the neighbor said the past few days he has been filling the dumpster with cans,” said Lab. “I assume he knew eviction was coming so he started ‘cleaning up’.”

She added, “The neighbor said she would hear a crash of cans randomly at night when he probably fell on them.”

Lab provided the second video below.

According to Lab, the only furniture on site was a mattress in the bedroom and a futon. The tenant, who had lived alone in the home for the past 17 years, was present at the time of eviction. After being notified, he left the scene with four trash bags of his belongings and went outside to wait for a cab.

Good thing he took a cab.

The internet got a good chuckle from it all. Here’s some of their commentary.

Here are some close-ups:

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Kid Rock, Multi-millionaire Entertainer, Lives in a Double-Wide

When you think of your average rock star, you probably picture him living in a multi-million dollar mansion, surrounded by luxury items galore. But rather than be bothered with flashy art work, a one-of-a-kind wine cellar, or a pricy infinity pool, Michigan native Kid Rock prefers to keep it real. Real simple, that is.

The multi-platinum artist, who’s sold more than 26 million albums across the globe, hangs his cowboy hat inside a doublewide trailer he placed on the 102 acres he owns outside of Nashville, Tennessee.

During The Big Interview with Dan Rather, the artist, whose music spans hip-hop, country, rap, and rock-n-roll, invited the longtime journalist inside his “troublewide.” There, he offered a glimpse into the “simple” life and explained why he enjoys his unconventional residence so darn much.

“I live in a doublewide trailer,” he told Rather. “It’s not like I require a lot. You know, I’ve learned to downsize through the years and it’s really made me more happy.”

So, just what is it about this trailer-living that’s got the “Born Free” singer so enthralled?

“It comes in two weeks,” he told Rather. “I’m a very impatient person. It comes delivered to the door in two weeks. You can customize a few things in there as you go along. You can put a cool wrap on it. I wrapped mine in mossy oak. Very easy to clean. Simplicity at its finest.”

Those wishing to catch a glimpse of the trailer Kid Rock calls home need look no further than the musician’s latest video “Po-Dunk,” released on July 13, in which his residence makes a prominent appearance.

“It’s a great conversation piece,” said the rocker, whose real name is Robert James Ritchie.

Sure, he’s got plenty of land, but with all his money, wouldn’t Kid want to spread out a bit when he’s indoors? Apparently not. While visiting friends in his industry, the musician has certainly seen some impressive homes, but rather than make him reconsider his decision to life humbly, it only reinforces it.

“You go to these houses and I go, ‘Where do you start in this thing?’ Like, ‘How many times do you use the movie theater?’ I’ve built one. I maybe went in there once. Usually, because I was too drunk and couldn’t find the bedroom. It’s just like a freakin’ maintenance nightmare,” the “Bawitdaba” singer told Rather.

The Grammy nominee may also be a bit sour on splashy homes these days after recently selling the Malibu estate he purchased in 2006 for a $2.1 million loss, according to The New York Post.

(Unless he dips it in gold, he’ll never take a hit like that on a doublewide!)

But the ability to replace his home should anything happen to it probably ranks highest among the attributes he likes best about it.

“If that trailer burns down or blows off the mountain, order another one,” he said. “It’ll be here in two weeks.”

And there you have it. Real estate wisdom from an unexpected source. If Rock ever gets bored with music, he’s got a great career ahead of him as a doublewide salesman.

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The Buyer & The Pot-Bellied Pig


Earlene Hancock, Realtor

Location: Mayfield Village, OH

Company: Howard Hanna Real Estate Services


The Buyer & The Pot-Bellied Pig

This particular buyer literally begged me to show her homes on the Near West Side of Cleveland. I generally don’t “do” the West Side because I’m not that familiar with the market, but I reluctantly obliged, just to get her to stop whining.

We scheduled 10 showings and I also “scheduled” my significant-other to chauffeur that day because I had no idea where I was going. Plus, I just wanted some extra protection. Not to denigrate the Near West Side, but there are some lovely areas and “not so lovely areas”. I was determined to show this buyer all the homes she wanted to see — after all, that’s my job.

The first house was decent, needed a few cosmetics, but in overall good shape. The drawback is that it was a corner lot and she had small children. On to the next house. This one was in a “dicey” area and I asked my “chauffeur” to stay in the car and keep the motor running. The buyer and I dashed in and out of the house in record time! I like to call it “speed showing”! 🙂

This continued until House #8. We pulled into the driveway and before we could exit the car, the owner greeted us at the side door and said, in his Southern twang… “Y’all come on in! We just got back from a fishin’ trip!” Okayyyy. We went up the short flight of stairs to the kitchen where the wife was standing at the stove stirring something in a skillet that had the most nauseating smell I’ve ever smelled in my life! That is no exaggeration! It looked like some Spam concoction… and “bless her heart”, she asked if we’d like a bite to eat. Um….it’s all I could do to keep from projectile vomiting, so “thanks, but no thanks”.

The house was a mess, to put it mildly. Clutter from one end to the other. I recall two young boys around 8-10, watching TV in the living room, cavorting all over the place, along with their two dogs who were quite energetic. It never occurred to this seller to remove the dogs, so we soldiered on as the seller led us on this “grand tour”… chatting incessantly to the point I was stifling a scream.

We navigated through the first floor clutter and made it to the 2nd floor where we encountered the cats. This was clearly a friendly family, as the cats welcomed us, too. I think there were 2 or 3… all I can really remember is this chorus of barking dogs and meowing cats… and the Southern twang of the seller, trying desperately to convince us how great his house was.

The odor from the skillet had wafted up to the 2nd floor and blended with the overflowing kitty litter, and my stomach continued to churn. There were 3 bedrooms on this level, all filled to the brim… with stuff. My buyer is pretending she’s interested, looking in each bedroom. At this point, I had firmly planted myself in the hall, focusing on the stairs so we could get the heck out of there. Then, the seller says…”Y’all need to see the 3rd floor!” I motioned to my buyer that she could go take a look which she did and hurried back down to where we were waiting.

At this point, I thanked the seller for his hospitality in showing us around, as we’re walking down the stairs, through the kitchen with the grinning wife, still stirring whatever that was in the skillet. I’m feeling even more bilious. Again, I managed to thank them both, at which time the seller pipes in, “But y’all ain’t seen the basement yet! My nephew, Jethro, is stayin’ with us and he dun made him a comfortable li’l space down thar.” Oh, please… do we have to? Not wanting to hurt his feelings, we reluctantly go down the stairs to the basement.

There’s Jethro’s “room” which he had partitioned off with sheer curtains. The seller went and threw back the curtains, so we could have a really good look. There sat Jethro in his recliner. There was also a twin bed, a nightstand, floor lamp, radio playing Country Western music… all the accoutrements one would expect in a “home sweet basement” bedroom.

Sitting in Jethro’s lap was a pot-bellied pig. I don’t think I need to tell you where the pig’s snout was located. Upon seeing us, because he clearly wasn’t expecting company, Jethro had a very, very sheepish grin on his face.

My buyer and I stumbled up the stairs and out the side door, squealing with laughter, tears streaming down our face, sides splitting over what we ‘think’ we just witnessed! My significant-other was going “Wha’ happened?!”

We had 2 more houses to go. We couldn’t focus on them, because all we could think about was Jethro caught in an uncompromising position with his li’l oink-oink. True story.


Jessica L. Thomas, Real Estate Consultant

Location: Kansas City, MO

Company: Better Homes & Gardens – Kansas City Homes

Website | Twitter

Does Kermit the Frog Live Here?

Had buyers who invited me over for dinner to show off their “rehab” of a home I sold them. They had painted every room bright primary green. Every. Room.


Michelle Gilmore, Realtor

Location: West Burlington, LA

Company: Re/Max Real Estate Specialists Inc.

Website | Facebook

Monkey Poop Everywhere

I went on listing appointment and learned that the owner raised monkeys in the house. There was monkey poop all over the upstairs bedroom. She had 8 pallets of crackers in the garage that she used to feed them. She had someone come in and clean it up, and I did end up listing it, but I could never look at that house the same.

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Woman Shares A Simple (But Genius) Home Security Trick Her Protective Dad Taught Her

We all deserve to feel safe in our own home, but all too often our rights are violated by thugs with nefarious agendas. However, we stumbled upon a Facebook post that reveals a simple security measure that could make things much harder for the bad guys… and much more comforting to us.

Mariana Harrison, a Realtor from Texas, shared a valuable piece of information from her Facebook account—advice relayed by her father years ago when she first lived alone—about burglars and front doors.

Yep, front doors—common points of entry for brazen burglars.

She explained in her post that the latches in most front doors have screws that are only half an inch long. These screws, she said, are no match for a burglar’s swift kick. And it makes sense when you think about it (who else besides me watches COPS?).

However, her dad, an undoubtedly wise man, advised her to always replace the small screws with two much larger 4-inch screws, which are drilled right into the door frame, making it virtually impossible for a would-be intruder to kick in the door quickly, or at all.

Look at the photo below and notice the size difference.

Mariana’s home-safety tip didn’t go without scrutiny and criticism, though. At least one commenter gave a differing viewpoint, basically saying that longer screws make it more difficult for firefighters to gain entry in the event of an emergency.

However, an actual fireman spoke up and put that guy’s counter-argument to bed by saying:

Many thanks to Mariana and her dad for sharing this tip! It’s a simple, logical security measure that’s easy and virtually free to do.

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The Real Estate Agent’s Guide to Photographing Properties

Photograph by Nicolás García

Photography is one of the most important aspects of a real estate listing. A property with stunning photos will generate more and better results than a property with mediocre photos. Unfortunately, most real estate agents are not professional photographers (Just check out the site “Terrible real estate agent photos” on Tumblr to see what we mean). Still, with the right equipment and some basic knowledge, even an amateur can capture stunning visuals. Here are some tips for getting the best photos of your listings.

The Equipment

While newer is generally better when it comes to cameras, you don’t need to buy the most expensive, top-of-the-line model. However, it is important that you invest in a wide-angle lens. Photos taken with wide-angle lenses capture more space and make viewers feel as if they are standing in the home themselves. You should also invest in a decent tripod. The added stability will greatly improve the quality of your photos.

The Space

Once you have your hardware, it’s time to consider the space you’ll be photographing. Work with your client to determine which parts of the property to highlight: rooms with unique features, large outdoor spaces, recent renovations, etc. Communicating with the client will allow you to discuss their favorite parts of the home, along with your opinion as an experienced agent.

Next, make sure the home is photo-ready by clearing out any excess furniture or junk that might take away from the property’s appeal. This may include wall items and decorations, such as cluttered bulletin boards. If the home is empty, consider bringing in a few pieces of furniture to provide viewers with a sense of scale. Use smaller decor touches (books, throw rugs, decorative bowls and baskets, etc.) to add warmth and character.

The Shoot

All your high-tech equipment and room preparations won’t mean much if you don’t use the proper shooting techniques. For example, to provide the best perspective possible, it’s important to take indoor photos with the camera at chest height — not eye-level. You should also take photos from the corner of the room, rather than from a back wall. This creates the impression of a larger room. Use your tripod to keep the camera straight at all times. When photographing outdoor spaces, choose a higher vantage point — a pole, a ladder, the top of a car, etc. Above all,never include yourself or your client in a photo.

The Lighting

Lighting can make all the difference in a photo. Natural light works best, so avoid using the flash wherever possible. Schedule your shoot for the morning, when light is best, and make sure it’s a sunny day. Cloudy or rainy days tend to result in dull, dark photos. That said, overcast days can be better for homes that are usually in shade.

Be sure to take multiple shots in every room, with different exposures — even if they are from the same vantage point. This will ensure that you have at least one photo with the perfect lighting and exposure.

Keep these tips in mind the next time you photograph a listing and you’ll be sure to get a better response from consumers. And remember: Prospective buyers are sifting through many listings, so uniqueness is essential.

How will you stand out from the crowd?

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Homeowners Turn The Tables By Foreclosing ON Bank of America

Ask anyone that lost a house within the last decade since the housing market crashed, and I’m sure it was one of their hardest times in their life. Banks seemed to have no sympathy for people, and they were on a repossession spree for years when homeowners could no longer afford their mortgage payments. Not many qualified for refinancing because the homes value was significantly lower than what was owed, and therefore the market plummeted and created a wave of disgruntled, distraught, devastated, and now homeless, people in its wake.

A majority of homes that were foreclosed on were deserved, but there were a great deal that also weren’t. Well, a southern Florida couple got sweet revenge when they foreclosed on Bank of America, instead of the other way around. Watch the video below to learn how…

…and nevermind that this all went down in June, 2011; this story is timeless.

Via 2xtream
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5 Things Real Estate Agents Hate Hearing From Prospects and Clients

A study was done a few years back where surveyors asked people if they’d ever considered working in the real estate field, and 98% of the people surveyed said “yes”. I guess everyone thinks our job is easy or something.

I can assure you, being an agent is not easy. Any job where you deal with the mass public is not easy. People are hard to please, especially when it comes to buying a huge asset like a home.

It’s not that people are mean (in most cases); rather, it’s that much like any other job, the general public has no idea what’s really going on behind the scenes. To the public, we agents stick a sign in the yard, enter some data into the MLS and then collect a $10,000+ check.

That couldn’t be further from the truth for those of us who treat this like a career. All CE, BS and MSA aside, we have a lot going on with each transaction. We deal with vendors, negotiations, repairs, marketing and vendors. Did I mention vendors? Because they aren’t always easy to deal with.

We agents live on commission. That means we must answer our phone, show homes and make offers in order to eventually collect a check. That said, we look at every phone call, every sign call and every website entry as someone we can use our skills to help get into the home of their dreams.

That’s not always the case for the person on the other end of the deal. Most consumers will hit 6 websites and enter their information. That means there is, on average, six of us chasing each lead. The consumer thinks we exist in abundance. So they take advantage of us (unknowingly, in most cases).

#1 “I didn’t want to bother my agent.”

It’s Saturday morning and the phone rings. You pick it up and there’s someone on the line that wants to look at one of your listings. You go through the normal song and dance to get their information. When you ask, “Do you have an agent you’re currently working with?”, they say “Yes but they’re busy, I don’t want to bother them.”

As crazy as it sounds, this happens a lot. It’s like consumers want you to work for free, so they can pay their sister-in-law (who just got her license 2 weeks ago, mind you) a commission to stop bothering them.

PSA to the public: It’s your right to ‘bother’ your agent. That’s exactly what you hired him/her for. And if he/she actually considers you a bother, you’ve hired the wrong one.

#2 “Yes I’m already working with someone, but…”

What’s even worse is when they try and convince you that you should still show them the house after they tell you they have an agent. They say clever phrases like, “If you show it to me, I might buy it!” Really? Tell me more….

Agents with the REALTOR® designation abide by a strict code of ethics, and there’s a fine line between stepping on another REALTOR’S® toes and violating the code. Many consumers have no idea how all of this works, but you can count on them to always dangle the proverbial, “I might buy it” carrot in front of you.

PSA to the public: Your enthusiasm is appreciated, but if you’re working with an agent, allow him/her to initiate contact for your showings.

#3 “Zillow says our home is worth waaaay more than that…”

Ahh, that moment you reveal the results of your CMA and they compare it to a Zestimate®. “But Zillow® said…” can be one of the most frustrating phrases to hear as an agent. You then have to validate yourself as a licensed expert who works in the area, against a website designed to capture leads. Go figure.

It’s not that we hate Zillow® (well, some do and some don’t — I personally think it’s a good tool for exposure), but man it causes a lot of confusion we have to clear up with our clients on a daily basis.

PSA to the public: Relying on Zillow® to determine your home’s value is, at best, a crapshoot. Zillow® itself even encourages buyers, sellers and homeowners to conduct other research such as “getting a comparative market analysis (CMA) from a real estate agent” and “getting an appraisal from a professional appraiser.”

#4 “I saw a website that said they sell properties for a flat fee.”

On paper, namely a HUD, it looks like we make a killing on each property we sell. The public has no idea how much MLS dues, lock boxes, Supra keys, CCS, Realtor Dues, CE and marketing dollars we spend on a monthly basis. Being a real estate agent is not cheap.

I didn’t even mention commission splits and desk fees. The list goes on forever and every day someone new is trying to sell us something. For a lot of us, the second we get our checks, it goes right back into our business. Selling millions of dollars in assets a year ain’t cheap.

PSA to the public: It’s not wise to shop for a real estate agent based on cost alone. And when evaluating candidates, make sure to compare apples to apples. Take into consideration such things as experience, track record of success, and client testimonials. Also, “newer agent” shouldn’t be an automatic red flag — they can sometimes be the most hungry and technologically savvy you’ll find.

#5 “It’s a ridiculously low offer but see if they will take it”

Don’t you hate insulting other agents by giving them a ridiculously low offer? It’s really a waste of time for all parties involved, but there’s always that one buyer who thinks they can roll the dice on getting a deal. They say, “You never know until you ask”. Trust me, we know.

I’m not talking a lowball offer a few thousand under list price; I’m talking a $100k offer on a $200k home because “it’s been on the market forever.” By sending a ridiculous offer to another agent, who by law, is supposed to protect the interest of their clients, is just insulting. We don’t like it when it’s done to us…

PSA to the public: As humans, we’re wired to love getting deals, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In some markets, deals can still be scooped up. However, be mindful that sellers can be insulted if the offer is too low, resulting in an unwillingness to take you seriously (read: colossal backfire). There’s no exact science to negotiating — just listen to the advice of your agent and you should be ok.

These five things may be the most dreaded phrases uttered by prospects but there are 100s of phrases we love to hear. Things like, “I love this house,” “Thank you for getting me my dream home,” “You sold our home for more than we expected,” and most importantly “Here’s a referral.”

Next time you get one of these phrases thrown at you, send them to this article for future reference. The more you know… 🙂

Ryan Stewman is a no-nonsense sales and marketing expert who helps high net-worth performers make adjustments in their businesses that lead to greater profit.

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5 Confessions on Becoming a Real Estate Agent

If you’re old enough to remember the 1980s, you remember when everyone had that friend, family member, or acquaintance who tried their hand at becoming a real estate agent. Somewhere along the line, real estate became perceived as a glamorous, easy job that anyone could do. But if you’re seriously considering getting into real estate, you should know that it isn’t glamorous or easy. It definitely attracts a certain personality type — strong, independent, and willing to take responsibility for their own success. That’s why not everybody makes their real estate career last! Read on to discover 5 real confessions of successful real estate agents and decide if you have what it takes.

1. You can’t snap your fingers and get your real estate license.

Yes, it’s true that in most states, it only takes a few months to become a licensed agent. That’s why so many people are drawn to the idea of giving it a shot. But that doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing to achieve! The state licensing exams are far from simple. Even these days, when it’s easier than ever to get your real estate license online, you have to invest time and money into understanding laws and procedures inside and out. Don’t wait until you’ve finished training to interview brokers, either. It’s not uncommon for a brokerage to ask for additional coursework before letting you jump into the field. This often means even more cash is coming out of your pocket.

2. Don’t expect to work a little and make a lot.

How much do Realtors make? It’s enough to make the cost of getting trained and licensed worth it, right? Well, not for everybody. The idea that Realtors have a ton of free time and make huge paychecks is a myth. In reality, it all depends on the sale. Once you start working for a brokerage, they will take a large portion of your commission. Not to mention what you owe in taxes. You’ll also need to use some of the money you have left for business cards, flyers, and other promotional material. Factor in the many hours you spend driving around, answering emails, and talking to the client, mortgage company, and everyone else involved in a home sale, and it’s daunting math. You might not necessarily be making the big bucks for all your hard work.

3. You have to be the best salesperson around.

A shy person might hesitate to become a Realtor, and with good reason. You’re selling homes (actually, lifestyles) which are enormous and important purchases, and that means you have to be better than the average person in sales. Real estate agents can gain the reputation of being sharks. They’re often aggressive because they have to be. In every major city, there are thousands upon thousands of real estate agents, and each one depends on commission to make a living. That doesn’t mean that you should be pushy. The best real estate agents know how to network within the industry and gain the trust of their clients. It definitely requires talent.

4. Dealing with clients can get wild.

Sure, buyers and sellers might think of real estate agents as unpredictable sharks with questionable negotiation tactics. But what about them? The clients acquired by a real estate agent can vary in crazy ways… and some can actually be crazy. Many real estate agents answer late night phone calls from buyers in tears, cracking under the stress of deciding on their first home. Others are simply impossible to please and looking for a combination of amenities that is either way out of their budget or simply impossible to find. Sometimes, the process of buying or selling a home will reveal cracks in a marriage, and then the real estate agent is right smack in the middle of a couple’s war!

5. Being your own boss is actually cool.

When you begin researching how to become real estate agent, the reality can feel a little daunting. But if you’re the type of go-getter who actually enjoys knowing that nobody but you is in charge of your success, you could end up loving this job. There are plenty of days you’ll end up working from the couch in your pajamas, fielding phone calls and thinking up your next strategy for a sale. You have to be a strong organizer and a jack of all trades, but if you can make the industry work for you, there’s no more powerful feeling.

So there you have it. Becoming a real estate agent is not for the faint of heart, but it’s a great job for the right kind of person. You’re part salesperson, part therapist, and part police officer — at least when the neighborhood kids start terrorizing your next open house.

Oh, one last thing. Don’t even think about jumping into real estate without reading this Open Letter To Anyone Considering Becoming A Real Estate Agent.

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6 Things All Real Estate Agents Hope You’ll Never Do At Their Open House

When you go to an open house, it really boils down to judging by appearances. You walk around. You look. But you don’t really take the house for a test drive of sorts.

I mean, when you buy a car you’re certainly going to take it for a spin, right!? You’ll turn on the radio. Move the seats back and forth. You get the picture…

Not so with a house.

To get a true feel for what it would be like if you actually bought the house, it would help if you did these 6 things.

1. Don’t enter through the front door

Who actually gets home and goes in through the front door?

You should go in through the garage door, or whatever door the driveway leads from.

Front doors are for trick-or-treaters, guests who come over like once a year, and people who want you to buy something or join their religion.

Note: This would strike the agent holding the open house as odd at first. But given the above reasoning, it would make total sense why you did it.

2.Plop your mail on the kitchen counter

Seriously, bring it along with you in your back pocket or purse.

The goal is to envision that perfect spot for your mail bills to sit until you have to deal with ‘em.

Right away it’ll hit you… drop the pile you brought right there.

The current owner’s bills won’t be in the spot. They hide that stuff. Like it doesn’t exist.

But don’t be misled; their bills probably sit in the exact same spot on a daily basis. Every house has the bill pile. They’re just hiding it so the house looks good for the open house and people don’t think about real life.

It’s good to get a feel for where exactly in the house you’ll clench your teeth every time you walk by.

Note: This would also strike the agent as odd. But considering you didn’t come in through the front door, this probably wouldn’t surprise the agent.

3. Rearrange the furniture

It’s one thing to bring a tape measure and measure a room, or sort of mentally picture your own furniture in the house. But it’s another to really get a feel for how it would look if things were set up the way you are envisioning.

Furniture is furniture. Everyone has pretty much the same stuff anyway. So shift the furniture around the way you’d like it and get a feel for how it will be once you get these owners out and you in.

Note: Real estate agents love hearing buyers talk about where they would put their own stuff. It’s a good sign someone is really interested. At the same time, nobody in their right mind moves someone’s furniture around. So this will simultaneously excite, befuddle, and aggravate the agent.

4. Cook a meal

While the agent is moving the furniture back to the proper place, go into the kitchen and quickly rummage through the fridge to see what you can cobble together for dinner.

Don’t get bogged down on there being nothing in the house to eat. Remember, this is to get a feel for how it will really be to live in the house on a daily basis.

Grab the pots, pans, and utensils you need as fast as you can. The agent is going to be in any second to put a stop to this. So there is an absolute need to do this as fast as possible. This will serve as a good way of getting a feel for the rush to get dinner done on a typical day.

If this strikes you as too burdensome, just rifle through the drawers to find the messy pile of take-out menus. Every house has that drawer and that pile as well…

Note: While you are cooking you may discover that the faucet leaks, or certain cabinet doors don’t close right. You can do one of two things.

1. Ignore it, since that is most likely what you will do once you own the hou/em>

2. Practice saying, “It was that way when we bought the house.” This will give you practice for what to say when you go to sell the house, and it will seem more acceptable to you when the current owner tells you that same thing during ntions.

5. Use the bathroom

As you’re cooking, you’ll hear the agent running in from having put the furniture back in order to put a stop to this.

Grab the newspaper you brought. Fold it and tuck it under your arm. Head to the bathroom. Close the door.

This is a good way to avoid having conversations you want to avoid. But expect the agent (or whoever you end up living with in the house once you own it) to try and discuss things with you through the door.

At this point, the agent may be pretty concerned with you and yelling at you through the door.

You could simply open the door and come out.

Or, you can say that you don’t hear him or her over the noise of the fan.

Or simply ask, “What’s a 5 letter word that begins with ‘w’ and ends with ‘d’? The hint is ‘Another word for odd’. This crossword puzzle is killing me.”

Note: This is an important room to test out. Statistically, people use the bathroom 6-7 times per day. According to research, men spend 1 hour and 40 minutes per week on the toilet. Women 1 hour and 20 minutes. I’m not citing sources… Google it if you want. But finish this article first.

6. Perform magic in the bedroom

At this point, there is a good chance the agent is off calling his or her manager… or the police. But you haven’t even checked out the bedroom yet.

If you can manage to, you wanna get by the agent, into the bedroom, and then close the door.

As the agent pounds on the door and asks, “What exactly do you think you’re doing in there?!”…

… calmly reply, “I’m pulling a rabbit out of a hat! This is where the magic happens, isn’t it? Or is that another room?”

Seriously, don’t do these things at someone else’s home

Kidding aside, it’s quite a privilege to be allowed to walk into someone else’s home.

Treat it with respect.

As importantly, treat the agent at the open house with respect.

Too often people walk into an open house and are rude to (or ignore) the agent who is there. I get it. Nobody wants someone hovering over them or giving them some pushy sales pitch. This creates an invisible wall. A barrier between customers and agents.

Agents are people. Quite often they are good and fun people. Be pleasant. Respect their requests and ways of conducting an open house.

Certainly don’t use this list as an actual to-do list at an open house.

But certainly do use it as a good way to get a conversation started, have some fun, and get to know the agent who could be a great match for you to work with either on the purchase of that house or another one that suits you better.


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24 MLS Photos That Perfectly Demonstrate How NOT To Sell A Home

As a full-time Realtor, I spend countless hours every week searching the MLS for homes for my clients. I often stumble across so many horrible photos, that it shocks me the homeowners haven’t fired their agent! It’s pretty ridiculous, actually. As a Realtor and writer, I thank them for making me look even better and for giving me such great material to work with!

These homes are STILL currently for sale! Shocker, I know.

1. Here we have a photo of three homes on the street. The listing is obviously for one home… so which one is it? Do we get to pick one like on House Hunters?

Via: Realcomp

2. I see a pattern here. Clearly the agent is SO busy to take a proper photo or at least crop out the wrong one!

Via: Realcomp

3. Here we have a lovely and colorful family room!

Via: Realcomp

4. Here we have a family room that needs some color, and better lighting!

Via: Realcomp

5. No, there’s nothing unusual about having the washer & dryer in the middle of the family room! How convenient!

Via: Realcomp

6. Perhaps an earthquake was happening at the very moment this agent took the photo?

Via: Realcomp

7. Cute dining room / kitchen / work-out room?

Via: Realcomp

8. I think priming the whole room would’ve taken less work than whatever this homeowner did!

Via: Realcomp

9. Wow! Here’s a photo of nothing!

Via: Realcomp

10. And here is another room with a cord laying on the floor. This really makes me want to buy this house!!

11. I seriously have no idea what this is! A built-in dog house? A mini closet for homeless gnomes and fairies? A perfect hiding spot for when you want to scare the living daylights out of your guests?

Via: Realcomp

12. It was so nice of this person to clean up before their Realtor came over to take photos! Even nicer of this Realtor to post them online to expose their clients’ filth!

Via: Realcomp

13. What am I looking at here? Am I shopping for a house, or a rug?

Via: Realcomp

14. I assume this is the “dining-room-converted-into-music-room” room. I’m digging their Halloween decor… or is that permanent wall art?!

Via: Realcomp

15. What a completely stupid and useless photo of the inside of a shower.

Via: Realcomp

16. Wow. Must be the same agent that took this useless photo of the inside of a garage door!

Via: Realcomp

17. OMG. Call a home inspector and HVAC company STAT!

Via: Realcomp

18. Holy Dinosaur! You may want to ask for a home warranty!

Via: Realcomp

19. Year’s best “You had one job” award goes to…

Via: Realcomp

20. Welcome to the Jungle!

Via: Realcomp

21. Is this agent trying to create the illusion that the heavens were shining down upon this home, as a sign that it’s “THE ONE”!

Via: Realcomp

22. Nope. The agent just doesn’t know how to use their camera phone, clearly.

Via: Realcomp

23. I think the milk crates are more valuable than the home this backyard belongs to!

Via: Realcomp

24. The owner of this home is hoping to make contact with aliens… Know any realtors on Uranus?

Via: Realcomp